Zelda: The Misadventures of Link 4: Navi-Gated & Un-Link-ed
by Sonata-Time-Flare-Nocturne-Aoi
Summary: Story complete! Navi is getting Link into more trouble as we witness the hilarity in this new collection of short stories between the hero of Hyrule and his annoying companion. What will Navi do to Link (and to itself) this time around? Rated T.
1. Toilet Humor

**Story**: Zelda: The Misadventures of Link 4: Navi-Gated & Un-Link-ed  
**Authors**: Master Jin Sonata, Time Master, Nocturne  
**Written**: November 27, 2019  
**Genre**: Humor/Parody  
**Rating**: T (Violence, Language)  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Zelda or its poor unfortunate hero of time.

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Welcome! The following is the order of individual stories that will be released within this fic. Please enjoy!

**Story 1: Toilet Humor**  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata

**Story 2: Totally Unaware**  
**Author**: Nocturne

**Story 3: Navi's Wild Adventure**  
**Author**: Time Master

**Story 4: Christmas Shopping**  
**Author**: Time Master

**Story 5: Treading Shallow Water**  
**Author:** Master Jin Sonata

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**Story 1: Toilet Humor**  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata

Deep in the depths of a night-casted Hyrule Field, a sudden rustling bounds around the silence. The source of the racket soon explodes out of the bushes, a small green-clothed boy is potty dancing in the faint moonlight.

"Link, if you don't stop that, I will personally beat you with your own stupid sword!" A small winged figure in blue yelled at the Master Sword bearer.

The child merely replied by dashing off.

"No, Link, the river is that way!" The annoyed fairy pointed the opposite direction that Link was going. He dashed back, so fast that he knocked the fairy to the ground with the draft he made, "Stupid!"

Approaching the Zora River, tears started to stream out of the green-clad hero's eyes. Seeing the running water was killing him. Unfortunately, if he closed his sapphire eyes, then the sound of rushing tides would magnify. Either that or he would smash into a wall.

"Link, the waterfall's right in fro-," Navi was cut off as the boy literally jumped to the top in a single bound. Looking quite annoyed as she flew up, the blue fairy continued, "As I was saying, I do believe you don't have something needed to enter," Link only gave her a questioning look.

Swiftly realizing what she meant, the boy slapped all over his miniature body in search of a non-existent ocarina. Sweatdropping, the boy turned his pale face to the fairy. Placing the cheesiest smile on his face, Link jumped off the ledge in a swift, clean motion, a fairy screaming her blue-head off at the splashing boy.

Attempting with all of his might, Link held in every drop of urine in as the current frisked them to the drawbridge. Link anxiously clawed his way out of the current, his companion, with her usual face on, was right behind, "Why do I follow you anyways… Oh, if I didn't, one, the Deku Tree would murder me, two, you would be dead!"

Completely ignoring her, Link dashed past the milk carrier, who was for some reason still asleep. Briskly jumping into the little cavern that led into the ever-guarded courtyard, Link was soon slinking around.

As he was crawling over a soldier's head Navi whispered something, "Hey, why didn't you just go in the river?"

Link fell to the ground with a great thud in surprise, but for some reason the guard didn't turn on him. Lifting his face from the dirt, the hero gave the fairy a flash of muddy teeth.

_(Flashback)_

_As Link was standing above the grand Zoran River relieving himself of a mighty load, the boy happened to notice about 20 Zoras floating. He waved a hello to them, but when they didn't return the reply, the green-child inspected them closer._

_Scaling a massive two inches into the air, he attempted to run from the dead bodies. Only to be stopped by guards who'd noticed the mess. He was soon banned from peeing in the Zoran River._

_(End of Flashback)_

Navi just sweatdropped. Link noticed the guard coming back around and clumsily jumped upwards. Just barely making it to the beam, he held by his frail fingers. However, even though his over-sized brown boots were hanging right in his face, the guard simply brushed the confused boy's feet aside and continued.

Finally pulling himself back on the beam, Link continued crawling, sprinting, observing, standing, and chatting around the guards. Bidding a farewell to the last fool, the green boy and his fairy scampered into the clearing. Zelda was not there, but Link knew which window led to her room.

In slow-mo Link dashed to the window and leaped, his boots thrust forward. Weirdly, however, his upper body was back to moving normally, but his lower half was still slow.

Staring hatefully at his boots, Link floated there. Three long days sunned and setted, when suddenly, his tight and boot covered feet broke free. Smashing straight into the stained glass, Link and Navi tumbled head first into the Princess' room.

Zelda whipped round from her vanity, "Link?" Then quickly covering her ugly morning face she squeaked, "I mean, beat it stupid! I don't have my make-up on!"

"Actually, princess, Link can't wait. He's been traveling across the entirety of Hyrule for the past 2 weeks," glancing at Link, the fairy noticed he was holding up 2-half fingers, "I mean 2 ½ weeks searching for a toilet."

"Oh, in that case, it's down the hall, past the freaky-tuna-who's-eyes-follow-you-everywhere, two left turns, out the fire exit, back in the fire exit, a u-turn, and then straight forward," The blonde princess explained behind her fingers.

Link sprung to his leathered feet and dashed out. Sprinting, Link passed the freaky-tuna-who's-eyes-follow-you-everywhere, took a left turn, then another, dashed in and out the fire exit, took a u-turn, and somehow ended up in a bathroom. The boy fell to his knees, and began worshiping the shining porcelain bowl of awesomeness.

"JUST GO!" fairy girl screamed while leaving Link to oblige. After thirteen whistling sessions of 'Billionaire' and watching the sun start glowing red on the west horizon, Navi heard a ripping sound. Bursting in, she gazed at the blue-eyed boy levitating the doggy drinking bowl while humming, 'dah-dah-dah-dahhhh'. Her usually blue body was suddenly a fiery red.

"LLIIIIIIIINNNKKKK! THAT WAS THE ONLY TOILET IN HYRULE!" Noticing the enraged fairy, he chucked the golden flusher. Smashing a wall out, Link waved a swift hand at the once-blue-now-red fairy and jumped after his white bowl.

Navi flew down after the fleeing Link, shouting up a storm. Link dashed into the sunset, toilet in hand, fairy companion cursing the life out from behind. Nonetheless, Link skipped cheerfully onward, overjoyed that his bladder was now empty.

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**Please review and keep watch for new chapters as this fic is updated constantly!**


	2. Totally Unaware

**Story 2: Totally Unaware**  
**Author**: Nocturne

For days now Link was running around in the Water Temple and honestly, he was quite exasperated by now. While the Fire Temple was seriously smothering, it wasn't really a challenge. Sure, he ran around, freeing Gorons all over the place and the Torch Slugs and Red Bubbles were such a pain, but all in all the whole temple was straight forward. The same with the Forest Temple. In both he found himself in battle with the boss within the first day.

But the Water Temple was an entirely different thing. It sure honored the Goddess Nayru, which favored obviously the virtue of wisdom. The whole place was one big riddle and Link realized that solving puzzles wasn't one of his stronger traits. Normally he would run ahead, slaughter every monster that crossed his path and save the day. But until now, the chests with the keys were placed strategically close to the associated doors and the other mechanisms were quite easy to figure out once you set your mind on it. He sure wasn't stupid.

His real problem were the changeable water levels. Depending on the level he could reach different chambers, but no key he found could be used on the same level. So he had to change it again. Once on another floor there could be a door the key fits into. Then he will be faced with a new riddle or mechanism or monster he never saw before. While standing on ground he could dispose of most with only the Master Sword, but being underwater he was also faced with the fact that he needed unbelievably much more force to swing his sword because of the water pressure and he still wasn't fast enough to kill the Shell Blades.

Not to mention he was soaked the whole time and he thought he would get a cold.

Now though, halfway through the second day he was running low on food and patience alike, so he took rest at the entrance and pondered his situation. Should he head out for something edible? The professor at the Lake Side Laboratory surely would help him to a warm meal. Or should he head back one last time into the depths of the temple in hope of acquiring the Water Medallion.

"What do you think, Navi?" he asked the fairy that was perched on top of his head, while he devoured his last apple.

"...I'm not sure." she answered after a moment. Then she took off, circling around Link. "The temple sure is confusing. I can't really say how close we got to the boss."

Link sighed and fell back to stretch his arms and legs out on the floor. "We've been here for nearly two days, I think. It can't possibly take that long to traverse the temple."

"Hm..." Navi hummed in thought. "Maybe we overlooked something. We should head back in one last time." She earned a groan from her friend for that.

"Oh, come on! You took care of most monsters, so we won't be bothered. We just take one last look then we return for the day, okay?"

The Hylian sat up again, his eyes staring into hers, or where he thought her eyes were. After seconds, he hung his head and heaved a sigh.

"Okay. You win." he said while standing up and reequipping his gear. "Where do you want to start?"

"Well, we gave up in the corridor with elevators in the waterfalls. We needed a second key after crossing. We haven't yet found another."

"So, you mean to say, we revisit every corridor and room we've been before?"

"Have you a better idea? Your guess is as good as mine."

Link drew up the mask attached to the Zora's tunic, so he was able to breathe underwater. Then he equipped his boots with the iron soles and went off the ledge and into the water of the main chamber. The surface was currently on the second level, so he dived effortlessly into the water and sunk down to the first level. Navi swam ahead in hopes of spotting something they missed earlier. The hero followed her more slowly. They circled the pillar in the center to the right side of the temple and took the first corridor they came to.

'Here we've met Ruto again.' Link thought with a shudder. He couldn't get what her deal was. She was plain annoying and didn't even notice it. His gaze followed Navi who was drifting around the room and then up. 'Obviously the only way you can go.' He took off the soles again and stuffed them into his pouch which magically didn't get heavier regardless of what he put into it.

He resurfaced on the next floor and climbed onto the ledge. "Seems like a dead end. We can only get farther, if we raise the water further." he mused while looking around, then he turned to his companion that was examining the wall in the back of the room.

"I don't know. Why should there be a ledge when all you can do is turning back again?" she answered after a while. "Look at that patch of stone here. Don't you think it looks strange?"

Link stepped closer to where she was hovering at the center of said wall. Reaching out to sweep his hand over it he too noticed that the surface of the stone was different from the other walls in the temple. Rougher and somehow less well built. Where he touched crumbs of stone flaked off like old paint. But the walls weren't painted and if they were at some point the water would've washed it off a long time ago.

"Get back, Navi." Link told the fairy and stepped away himself.

Navi flew to her friend and hovered over his shoulder. "What do you have in mind?"

Link didn't respond at once, instead he rummaged in his adventure pouch. After a moment he extracted a bomb and flint. "Get into the water." he told her and lit the fuse. She zoomed off under the surface while he set the bomb down in front of the crumbling wall, then he jumped down into the water himself.

They waited there until the device went off with a loud boom. Rubble and splitters of stone were hitting the surface and drifting down to the lower level. When the coast was clear, the two resurfaced again and were faced with a great hole where the wall used to be. Behind a cloud of dust that was slowly setting emerged another room.

The two exchanged a look and climbed out of the water, though Navi was clinging to her friend's collar. They entered the new chamber slowly, watching out for rubble and other tripping hazards, and found at last another chest.

"Navi, do you see that?" Link asked the fairy breathlessly.

She nodded. "Yup, that was surprisingly easy." the fairy dead panned.

Link knelt in front of the chest while Navi settled down on his left shoulder. He threw her a last glance then he reached for the lid and lifted it off. Both leaned over to look inside... And stared a few seconds longer at the content. Exchanging a look Link reached into the chest to extract what was inside.

"What the hell is that?" Link asked. Nestled in his hand was an egg. It had roughly the size of his fist and was colored strangely. It wasn't white or brown or speckled like the ones he knew of. Instead it was a bright yellow and was circled with green stripes with pink dots in between.

Navi hopped from his shoulder down to perch on top of the egg, holding her pointer finger up in a lecturing manner and said. "That, my dear, is what the Humans refer to as an Easter egg."

The hero looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Uh, well... The humans celebrate the arriving of spring with coloring eggs and presenting them to their family and loved ones." the fairy tried to explain.

Link inspected the egg once more. "Huh, and what does it do down here?"

"I don't have the slightest idea." Navi responded. She flew to the chest to look for anything else that could lie inside, but she found nothing. "Maybe we should really return to the laboratory and take a break." the fairy said dejectedly. She dropped down unceremoniously onto the lock to sulk.

Link sighed and stood up still clutching the egg in his hand. "Well, here goes nothing. Let's head back." he turned and was about to stuff the egg into his pouch when it slipped out of his still wet hand.

Navi startled and fell backwards into the chest with a yelp while Link froze. The egg of course smashed on the ground. The fairy climbed out of the wooden box and took to hovering instead.

"Perfect. I do hope we didn't need that in the temple." Navi commented dryly.

"Nah, what use could it possibly have?" the Hylian replied. He shrugged and turned to leave the room. Navi hovered a moment longer over the ruined egg, then she followed her companion. But right when she left, there was a flash in the corner of her eye. She stopped and turned back. There, between the pieces of shell was something metallic that reflected her glow. Another key.

"Link! Come back!"

The boy stopped and looked over his shoulder. "What is it?"

"Just come!" the fairy answered, frantically circling the broken egg. So, Link came back and knelt next to the pieces.

"That's a key!" he shouted and picked it up. "Finally."

"Yup! Let's get back to that waterfall and finish this temple!" The fairy bobbed up and down excitedly.

"Okay." Link chuckled and pocketed the key. Both fairy and hero turned again to leave the room, this time for good. "Navi, why do you think the key was inside the egg?"

"No idea. It isn't really time for celebrating. Who knows?" the fairy answered.

With a last look over their shoulders the jumped off the ledge and sunk down to resume their quest.

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**Please review and keep watch for new chapters as this fic is updated constantly!**


	3. Navi's Wild Adventure

**Story 3: Navi's Wild Adventure**  
**Author**: Time Master

Navi the fairy and Link the Hero of Time have finally returned to the present. They both knew that they will be parting ways.

"Navi?" asked Link.

"Yes?"

"What's going to happen to you?"

Navi thought this through ever since they've defeated Ganondorf. "I shall return to the forest, but I shall never forget all the fun we've had."

"I'll never forget you, either," Link replied.

"Goodbye, my friend," they said sadly in unison.

Navi flew sadly out the door of the Temple of Time while Link stared hard at the now sleeping Master Sword. Once Navi left the Temple, she did a happy jig, whooped and hollered with joy.

"YES! I'm finally done with that idiot elf reject!"

Meanwhile, Link was happily doing the Macarena.

"Heck yeah! That annoying fairy has finally left me alone! Happy days are here again!"

Navy meandered around Hyrule Castle town, looking for something fun to do. Being stuck with Link put a damper on her social life. She spotted an anime and manga shop. The store was called "Ye Olde Animee & Manga Shoppe" and she flew inside.

"Greetings, milady. Welcome to Ye Olde Animee & Manga Shoppe. Dost though needeth thine assistance?"

Navi blinked a few times and said coolly "I'll be in the hentai section." She flew away and headed to the said area.

In the "Ye Olde Caddish Animee & Manga" section, Navi was scanning the shelves when she overheard a couple people talking on the other side of the shelves. _Perverts_, she thought to herself.

"Dost thou likest this drab in this book or this drab in this other book?"

"Nay, I dost not likest either!"

"Forsooth! Surely thou jest!"

"Thy heart flutters at ye sight of not drab but cove!"

"Aye, thine too."

Music began to play and Navi flew over the shelf and yelled "HEY! What the hell are you two babbling about!"

"O! We hast been spotted!"

"Forsooth! Hast thou been hither long, milady?"

"Speak ENGLISH, dammit, maguy kelle HYLIAN, khaa!" The two guys snickered at her, so she threw a couple of thick mangas at their faces.

Navi left the store and soon found a huge casino! She flew inside and was immersed in all the sights and sounds of a casino. She looked around to see which game she'd like to play. Soon she was attracted to the game of roulette.

"96 Ruppes on number 42!" said Navi.

The roulette ball began to go over each slot inside the wheel until it clicked a few times into a number. Navi held her breath, hoping for her number to be chosen.

"42!" called the person running the game.

"Yes!" Navi cried. She thought about how they'd never have much money. _Now I can NEVER be poor again!_ she thought to herself.

"321 Ruppes on number 42!"

The ball spun around before landing on the said number again. Navi cheered as she won more money. After about an hour, her luck had just run out. She had bid all her money and lost it all, every single Rupee.

"DAMMIT!"

She left the casino and found a nice bar. Feeling parched for cussing up a storm, she decided to have a drink or two... many. After several rounds of vodka, she was highly drunk. Flying drunkly around like a fly, she eventually came to the Bombchu Bowling Alley. Inside was the lady feeding the Cuccos.

"Hey, baby... Howzaboutta date...? Youse real purdy... I stink I woof you, therefore I am... Gimme a kiss, sweet thing!" Navi slurred.

As Navi flew towards the oblivious lady, someone entered the building for a game of Bombchu Bowling.

"Watch out, Eladard! There's a blue glowing radioactive fly on your shoulder!" called the customer.

Eladard whiped out a fly swatter and smacked the living daylights out of the drunk Navi. It was appropriate to say that the whole incident resembled Buzz Buzz's diminish from Lardna in Earthbound, complete with the sound effects.

The next thing she knew, she was tossed out with the garbage. Navi fell down onto the ground and woke up groggily as a strange light blinded her.

"Hey... turn down the high-beams, will ya!" she mumbled.

"Sorry about that!" said a male voice.

Navi's vison began to come back into focus and noticed that the person was in fact another fairy!

"What's a fairy like you doing in a place like this?" she asked.

"We're just going over to the Happy Mask Shop," he replied. "What about you?"

"I parted ways with another kid because I helped him complete his adventure," Navi said.

"What did you find over there?" asked another male voice.

"It's another fairy from the forest!" called the fairy. He turned to Navi and said "Come join us. The boy I'm assigned to's also a Kokiri and pretty cool."

Navi flew a little bit over to the Kokiri's hat and rested there. She laid down and mumbled "I miss you, Link! We were meant to be! Why'd we have to leave each other? _I love you!_"

"She sounds intoxicated..." the Kokiri mumbled.

"She flew like she was too..." the fairy replied.

As they were heading over to the store, Navi fell asleep and the owl flew by and nabbed her. The owl was heading southeast and entered the Lost Woods. Its talons got caught in a Skullkid's hat and ended up dropping Navi. She fell into the Skullkid's pocket and was carried away to another part of the forest. Soon, the Skullkid went to put something it had found into its pocket and found Navi sleeping in there! The Skullkid picked her up and tossed her aside disdainfully. She was thrown through the flora and landed in front of the Great Deku Tree.

"Ah, Navi. How is thou?"

"Ugh..." Navi vomited and mumbled "...I'm hungover, dammit..."

"I hast another job for thou, but I shall wait til thou hast recovereth."

"What... job..."

"I needeth thou to be the partner of another Kokiri boy who dost not have a fairy and I summoneth him to talketh to me. Tis very urgent..." He looked down and added "Once thou recovereth."

"Not another... one... dammit!"

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**Please review and keep watch for new chapters as this fic is updated constantly!**


	4. Christmas Shopping

**Story 4: Christmas Shopping**  
**Author**: Time Master

Link sighed, sure, he loved the holidays but WHY did Zelda have to throw a gigantic Christmas party every year? Heck, she'd even invited Gihrahim, of all people! _At least she didn't invite Ganondorf... oh, that's right, SHE DID! _As our dear hero contemplated the sanity of his princess, Navi worriedly hovered around his head. She feared that Link was slowly being driven insane by Zelda's Christmas Cheer Sparkles (they were literally EVERYWHERE.)

"Hey."

"Not now, Navi"

"_Hey."_

"Navi, I said not now, I'm trying to buy Princess Zelda a Christmas gift!"

"...You've been trying for six hours."

"Shut up, Navi."

Navi was hurt. Her Link didn't want to listen to her! Oh, how tempted she was to say her famous line: 'Hey! Look! Listen!' However, fearing this would be the final straw for our irritated hero, Navi refrained. Instead, She decided to fly in circles. Around Link's head.

Link new Navi was trying to be helpful, but she was seriously annoying him right now. The Hero sighed again, almost giving up on finding a suitable gift for the princess. Then, he saw the perfect gift in a stall across the rode. Excited that he had completed his quest, Link purchased the gift and headed back to the castle in a good mood. There was only one person who could have ruined Link's mood, and this person just happened to decide that annoying our hero was a good plan.

"Oh Link!" Link stopped in his tracks. _Crap. _Link thought, _Just what I need right now..._ The mystery person wrapped an arm lazily around Link's shoulders. Link turned his head to come face to face with his dark alter ego. The anti-hero smiled and said, "Linky-poo! How nice to see you here today! Did you buy me a present?"

"No, Dark, leave me alone."

"You didn't get me a present?"

"If I did, it's none of your business, now sod off."

"I don't wanna!"

Link massaged his temples, trying to fight the impending headache. "Dark, I don't have time for this. Please, just Leave me alone." Dark reluctantly let his alter ego go. But, as Link walked away, he shouted, "Bye, my darling Link! Until we meet again, Gorgeous!" Link sighed for the thousandth time that day and kept walking.

When Link got back to his chamber in the castle, he dropped his gift for the princess on the floor and flopped on his bed. He deemed it a wise choice to take a nap. He'd need the rest for this evening...

Navi watched Link sleep for a while, then deciding he was sound asleep, she went off to do secret Navi stuff (gift shopping for a certain hero).

Link awoke several hours later. he found Navi sleeping quietly in his hat (he'd taken it off before falling asleep. He shook his hat lightly, waking Navi. "Hey, look, listen…" The fairy said sleepily. Link smiled at Navi, as much as the fairy annoyed him, he still loved the little ball of fluff.

Link changed into a slightly less rumpled tunic and slightly less muddy boots. Deciding he looked presentable enough, he went to join the holiday festivities, only pausing to grab the small sack of gifts he had purchased for his closer friends.

When Link reached the party grounds, the wasted no time in finding the people whom he had gifts for. He found Dark with little difficulty. After the seen in the market, Link had decided to indeed give a gift to his annoying alter ego. Dark absolutely loved the new belt Link had bought him, for once he would own clothing that wasn't black! (The belt was a light red color.) Dark proceeded to give Link a pair of bright green earrings (only after telling him at least four times how fabulous the belt was and how he would wear the fantastic accessory everywhere as a symbol of Link's love).

Even though Dark was a bit strange (after quitting the whole evil thing, Dark seemed to become a weirdly flamboyant person) He wasn't _that_ bad.

Link then proceed to find a few of his Goron and Zorra friends, giving them all their gifts. Link needed to find couple more individuals after that, and after carefully avoiding Girahim, the only gifts he had left give were the ones for Navi and Zelda.

Link finally caught Navi, as her constant circling made it hard to get ahold of her. Then he gave the fairy her gift. Navi squealed in joy at the fluffy pillow that had 'Navi' embroidered on it in blue. Link had decided to go with this gift because he was a little tired of finding bits of sparkles in his hat from Navi sleeping in it. Now, Navi could nap on her pillow, and not shed sparkles all over our Hero's hat. Navi gave Link a set of healing potions in varying flavors, including Maple syrup flavor, Ginger Snap Flavor, and Sparkle flavor (whatever that was).

It took Link awhile to find Zelda. Since she was the hostess of the party, she was pretty busy with guests. Link finally found her talking to some friends of hers. He pulled her aside, a little nervous as he wasn't sure she'd like the gift or not."

"Link!" Zelda greeted happily, "Enjoying the party?"

"Yep!" Link lied (he hated parties and all kinds of social events) "I... uh, have a Christmas gift for you..."

"That's so sweet of you, Link!" Zelda Hugged him Lightly. Link coughed a bit from the Christmas cheer sparkles Zelda always seemed to be emitting during the Holidays. "Here you go... I hope you like it, Princess."

Zelda's eyes widened in delight as she opened the small box. Inside was a simple silver chain that bore a golden trifler pendant with an intricate pattern engraved on it. Zelda smiled widely at her Hero and pecked him on the cheek. "Thank you so much, Link!"

Link nodded at Zelda. He didn't really have any clue what to say in this situation. He began to mentally panic for a bit, until Zelda was swept away by some other friend of hers, and Link was left alone.

Navi giggled behind Links hat, and began to sing, "Link and the princess sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I.."

"Shut up, Navi!"

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**Please review and keep watch for the final chapter, as this fic is updated constantly!**


	5. Treading Shallow Water

**Story 5: Treading Shallow Water**  
**Author:** Master Jin Sonata

Ah yes…

Our favorite green-hatted hero who has saved the world too many times over to bother to keep count. Currently seated on the edge of a wooden stool, head resting on his crossed arms against the counter in Mercay Tavern… Wait… Why is he just sitting there?...

"Y'know, a young lad like you shouldn't be hanging out in a bar all the time. Don'tcha have anything else to do?" asked the friendly bartender. Link sighed and shook his head. "Don't tell me you have nothing to do?" he said incredulously, "when I was a young chap, I _always _had something to do. My mum, ya see, was always yappin' at meh to get my lazy ass up and workin' on the farm. Of course, I'd agree. But here's the catch, instead of going to feed the chick'ns like I said I would, I secretly went to go explore the woods out behind da house with me friends…" Link continued to stare at the man, "…wait, don't tell me you don't _have_ friends?!" exclaimed the man. "!" shaking his head no venomously, Link gave a glare to the man but what with his boyish features, it simply came off as a pout. "Okay, okay, sorry little guy," The bartender put his hands in the air as if in surrender, "then tell me this, what _are_ you doing here?"

Link sighed again, "I have nothing better to do. I'm bored," he finally replied after conveying messages through his facial expressions alone, "I've done everything I have and want to do." And as stated earlier, this was partially true for he had gone and saved Hyrule all over again. "Excuses! There's always something to do!" cried the bartender, "If playin' with kids yer own age doesn't sway you, then you can always give in to yer mother's naggin' and actually _feed the chickens_ this time, as much as I hated doin' my chores. So, you've got no excuses! I've heard from a couple of my customers about a feller around yer age who travelled to all corners of the sea and braved the deepest, darkest depths of doom. Now, I'd understand if _HE_ had nothing else left to do… But _YOU_, you've still got everything left to explore! And in the meantime, go find ya some friends to keep ya company instead of hangin' around a hyperactive fairy all day."

"Hey!" shrieked Navi in protest. Link attempted to give him his best blank face in exasperation, debating with himself if he should explain that he doesn't _know_ who his mother is and that he grew up with lots of kids—the Kokiri—his own age, and most importantly, that it was _HIM _who "braved the deepest, darkest depths of doom". But thinking better of it, he decided it was too long of a story and too much of a hassle to explain to this (obviously uneducated) bartender that he was Link the legend and not _Zelda_ the legend whom many mistake him for… Like that one time he was mistaken for Princess Zelda just because she accompanied him on part of his travels and people spread word of a brave warrior by the name of Zelda. You'd think that he'd get the credit after going solo for so long, but nooo. Link had the sudden urge to slap his hand to his face but resisted the temptation of his repeatedly clenching and unclenching hand. As if only just remembering that the bartender was looking at him strangely for being so quiet, Link came out of his reverie and muttered, "Come on Navi, let's go see how much faster we can run through the temple this time," as if he had gone through it so many times that a temple that sucks your life became a regular hideout for him, which he has done and it has indeed become as such.

"That's the spirit m'boy! Go and play in your temple or whatever," laughed the bartender encouragingly. Oh, he had _no_ idea exactly what Link meant by "temple", he probably took it as slang for playground. Link shook his head on the way out the bar, surprised and yet not very surprised that the bartender didn't know exactly what temple he was talking about considering it's right on the outskirts of the town in the first place.

So, in his dull fashion that would make Peter Pan jealous, Link ran after Navi (as usual) to the north of town. "No matter how many times I keep coming back here, I always see the _same_ monsters in the _same_ place. I could have sworn I finished this one off last time," said Link in reference to a yellow ChuChu(1) that was slowly inching its way to Link while trying to give off sparks of electricity. "Hey! Watch out!" shrilled Navi as the super slow ChuChu suddenly jumped at Link with speeds that it certainly didn't show earlier. "Wha?—"

**BZZZZZZZZTTTTT**

"Aagackackkk!" yelled Link as half a heart container went down on his health bar of 99,999+ hearts. Yes, he has that many hearts on his health bar, how _else_ does he stay alive? You didn't think he could live this far with only _one_ heart, did you?! I mean... he's certainly not like any other normal villager who has only one living, beating heart. As Link tried to shake off the electric current coursing through his midget body, he stabbed blindly and frantically at the poor little ChuChu who squealed and poofed in a cloud of dust only to reveal a green rupee because killing monsters make money magically appear.

"You know what Navi, maybe that man gave some good advice after all. Let's go find the chickens in town but instead of feeding them, let's try to catch them. I think that'd be more fun," said Link. So Navi led Link back to town even though they both know where it is. "Hey, listen!" chirped the sparkling-blue fairy. So, listen he did and he heard the sound of clucking chickens. "That way Navi!" said Link pointing to a white chicken strutting in the grass. Link ran after it but the chicken could see him coming and wings flapping, fled in the opposite direction. Together, Link and Navi spent a good hour trying to corner a chicken… "Ha ha! I've got you now!" crowed Link as he rushed in for the catch. The chicken was so close now! He spread his arms out to grab a hold of the chicken that was a hair's breadth away from his fingertips. The chicken squawked and flapped its wings harder to jump into the air… Only then did Link realize that he wasn't on solid ground anymore.

**SPLASH!**

Link landed in face first into the cold, blue sea.

He resurfaced as the chicken landed safely on the other side of the small junction.

"Hey. Watch out?" said Navi.

"…"

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